mariic's Diaryland Diary

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I have been made redundant.

Rula Bula has great coffee. I mean great, great coffee. I think I drank 4 cups. That makes more caffeine than alcohol tonight.

I got fired from my job. I have never been fired before. It is a strangely humbling experience. Yes, I absolutely hated that job, but I did not want to leave until I had another job. Now I am unemployment and trying desperately to find something else. I swear it is embarrassing, and scary as hell. I have been a little too upset to talk about it, even here.

I went to the pub tonight. I was sick to death of myself. I walked in and saw Chef and gave him a hug. I was welcomed and sat down between Tim and Mark (Spinner, Paddy Porn). Mark asked where his hug was (is he trying to torment me?), so I gave him one, and then Tim wanted one. Very nice. Robbie told me I looked clean (his way of giving a complement). Then told me I looked very cute, and called me “Puddin” (I think that is very cute). So I actually had a good night. Tim, Mark, Raven and I ended up outside and talked forever. Tim left first, then a couple of cups of coffee later Mark and I left Raven. God, I really like Mark. It is very hard to keep my mouth shut. I do not just want a “shag”, and I do not think either one of us is in a position to do anything more, so I will keep silent. (Not that it matters, Robbie says everyone knows!)

I was thinking about going with my parents to Texas for a week, but I think I am going to stay here. I would love to take a vacation, but I think I would just be grumpy and drive everyone crazy. I am having such a hard time keeping my spirits up. Maybe I will feel different tomorrow.

12:24 a.m. - 2003-09-18

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