mariic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Without sounding trite...I will survive. So surprisingly my weekend was not horrible, it was actually pretty great. Thank you Heather and the other people who love me and were so supportive of me. It helps make me strong. I went to the pub on Friday and saw Tim, it was a little uncomfortable, but I worked through it. I will not give up my fun place because of a boy. I did get Tim to walk out to my car with me when I left and gave him his books and stuff. I talked to him a bit and asked some questions, looking for clarification, didn’t really get it. I woke up Saturday with a lighter heart and a smile, feeling pretty good. I went to the gym and some shopping with Mom. Heather and I went to Pasta Brioni (yummy, yummy, YUMMY!!!), drooled over the beautiful boys, and had great food and wine. We decided to run by Rula Bula when we were done (it was on the way home). Chef was the only one there, so we visited with him and Athena and Ravin. It was a good night. Chef had some great things to say to me. I guess Tim had been talking to him a bit about stuff, so he knew for a week or so what was up. So I was right about that. I told Chef that my biggest beef with Tim was that he came to my party and let me introduce him to everyone as my boyfriend. It would have been better if he had not come. Chef agreed with me. It is nice to know that I really did not do anything wrong. Tim is unhappy, and I think he was trying to use me as a shield against his unhappiness. But none of us can make another happy. We can share and help, but happy has to come from you. If you do not like yourself, you can not really like someone else. The emotion ends up being shallow, and not deep enough to withstand exposure. So it ends, and I am fine, a little wiser, a little bruised, and still smiling. As the ex Erich used to say “It’s all good”. 10:11 a.m. - 2003-11-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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