mariic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my humble pie I am feeling very humble today. Caused by some good and some not so good things. Okay, the not so good things first…Tim asked his new girlfriend to marry him last night. Great, fine, I hope he is happy. This is where it feels tricky though, see, I do not want him, not at all, and do not really care that he has found someone else to love. It’s just it makes me think what is wrong with me that no one seems to feel that for me. It has me wondering if I will every have any one in my life for a long time, some one that would love me. Hmm. So some nasty little feelings there, none of them good or positive. Okay more humble pie…I got extremely intoxicated last night, so much that I was sick everywhere, or so it seemed. Too much fish and chips, emotions and vanilla stoli and diet coke (which I swear that Chris/Conan made especially strong!) for my poor tummy. I hate when people lie to make you feel better. I was teasing Kirk (the blond guy) about his interest in me one night, and then total avoidance the next. I find this guy very attractive, true, but I do not really care about him, or have feelings for him. So he tells me that he was told to stay away from me (yeah, right, who the hell would say that, hmm?). Just say you changed your mind…I hate lying, it makes it the snub worse, because you are not “worthy” of being treated to the truth. And the last of the humble, it is very humbling to know people care about you. Rather comes as a surprise sometimes. I mean, I know my friends and family care, right? But when things get icky, and they are sitting there patiently waiting until you need them, that is so amazing. Heather was the best last night. Thank you! My mom and dad woke me up this morning because they were worried. Could not figure out why Holly was still at their house, and then why I was there with no car. So I told them, and they were very sweet. Mom gave me a ride to the pub to pick up my car. Holly and I went home and have schlunked around all day on the couch. I have managed to keep some food down, and am starting to feel better. It is going to be a while before I do that again (next Friday, maybe?). 4:38 p.m. - 2004-02-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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